Why I have PCOS

What is PCOS? It is the acronym for Polycystic ovary syndrome which is a condition that primarily affects women hormonal levels.

What are the symptoms and how it can be diagnosed? But most importantly what it the real cause of it? Read it until the end to have the answer.

I will not talk about it scientifically... there is plenty of material in the web and I am not a doctor. I will talk about what does it means physically and emotionally for a woman.

The typical symptoms are:

• irregular periods or no periods at all.

• very painful period

• depression

• difficulty getting pregnant (because of irregular ovulation or failure to ovulate)

• excessive hair growth (hirsutism) – usually on the face, chest, back or buttocks.

• weight gain.

• thinning hair and hair loss from the head.

• oily skin or acne.

This is mainly because Up to 70 percent of women with PCOS have insulin resistance, meaning that our cells can’t use insulin properly .

Insulin is a hormone the pancreas produces to help the body use sugar from foods for energy.

When cells can’t use insulin properly, the body’s demand for insulin increases. The pancreas makes more insulin to compensate. Extra insulin triggers the ovaries to produce more male hormones.

Picture by Duvet Days

All these symptoms are really putting a lot of pressure on women self love and self confidence. There are very visible symptoms like weight gain or excessive hair growth which let us doesn't fell pretty enough, and adding to that the huge hormonal roller coster it doesn't really help.

So first of all it is important to be diagnosed and to understand that what is happening to us it is not something to be guilty for.

I've immediately realised when I was a teenager something was wrong and I've done my first check at 18 years old. At that time I've not been diagnosed for PCOS... but through the scan the doctor said I had polycystic ovary. When I started working I had serious headache and my period has never been regular. I had incredibly high mood swing and sometimes really aggressive communication. I've seen many doctors and finally a young female doctor diagnosed the PCOS and explained to me what does that means. The first thing doctors give to a PCOS patient is the birth control pill to help with hormone balance, hair growth and acne. I have tried once but I very soon realised it was not good for my body and I have asked for more natural remedies. I've got some supplements like inositol, folic acid, magnesium, vitamins that I am taking almost my whole life and they are a big help. At some point I've accepted to live with that thinking, that this is coming from my genes and there is nothing I could do to heal.

Being aware of having PCOS and what does it really means was a big help, especially because there are many women out there are not really aware and cannot explain their symptoms especially the depression. Most of women become aware of it when they try to conceive.

For me not being able to get pregnant gave me the opportunity to understand the WHY.

In western culture we are used to listen to symptoms just to be diagnosed for an illness and get medications to heal. If our body is sending us signals through a pain is a way to let us notice that something is wrong. We should try to understand why our body is giving us these signals, instead of focusing on which is the right pill to clear the pain.

The main consequence of PCOS is the lack of ovulation, which is supposed to be the main expression of femininity. The ovulation brings the fertility we need to give birth. I have also realised that the ovulation, the fertility and the womb energy in general is not only related to give birth to a child, but it is also giving birth to creativity which is also expression of women true self.

Why we are neglecting to express our feminine super power?

The answer I was able to give to myself is because we are not allowing our feminine energy to flow, because of many reasons.

For generations the patriarchy had a toxic role into to women life... being told what to do, what to say, how to dress etc. Most recently we have been told that to get the freedom and financial independence we need to go to be good at school, chose to study what will give us a well paid job. Don't get me wrong there is nothing bad on choosing a good school and get the ambition for a good job.

This starts with our childhood and continue when we start being adults. Work hard and harder than men to show how good we are. And while we are doing it we cannot express how we really are, leveraging emotions and our intuitions etc.

I've worked all my life in a male dominated company and industry and being told so many times that I was too emotional and this was wrong. I've always had the ambition to get a sales role, which was denied many times because it is not the right job for a woman. I had to deny so many times my femininity to please first my father because I had to be a good girl, and then my bosses because I had to be a good employee, which means pretend to be like a man to grow my career. I have destroyed completely my feminine energy.

Going back to the western medicine the reason why we get PCOS is still unknown, one of the reasons is that might be genetic. If I connect the dots I feel that my ancestor line had already a huge block of feminine energy which I have inherited. My grandmother had diabetes and my mother had the same symptoms I have, but never been diagnosed with PCOS. Generations over generations this problem grows. In this moment of global awaking of women we need to play a big role and cut this line. This is the way we will heal our womb energy and not to pass it to the future generations.

I will write more about menstrual cycle, what does it means for a woman, how to use it as a tool and not as a sickness. You can find a lot of information at Red School and Red Moon but none of them is particularly focusing on PCOS.

I would also like to follow up on this topic and share with you what I am doing for womb energy healing.

I really hope my personal experience can help other women, and I would really love to get feedbacks of what PCOS really means for you and how you are dealing with it. Or maybe ready this article you have realised you might have PCOS.

#PCOS #FEMININITY #FERTILITY #FEMININE