Try to…

Try to…

Try being 40.

Try being a 40 year old woman.

Try being a 40-year-old woman without children.

It doesn't matter who you are, the achievements you have made, the stories you have to tell, the journeys you have taken... you will be  seen as wrong and judged... excluded from a society that claims to see you in the role of mother, with only one definition of mother which is the woman who brings a child into the world.

A vision of a mother who respects the standards set by society, "good", submissive, who silently takes care of her children and family and the rest doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter if you are a free, wild, independent woman, in control of her own life, cultured, wise, communicator, traveler, etc... Instead , all of this is frightening and therefore demonised.

There are those who by choice or not, as in my case, have not had children.

So does this doesn’t make us to be women? Doesn't this allow us to be mothers anyway?

We were taught that a woman must have children to be able to define her as such, does this mean we are living an useless life?

I don't think so, instead, I consider myself grateful to life as it is, very rich of emotions and experiences, but still, I live in constant grief and unappreciated.

I live in judgment, in compassion.

I live feeling myself to be wrong, broken, in a void where the whole world around me is going in a different direction.

Try being 40 years old and not having children, with all your friends who share happy moments with their children every day.

Some days you feel lucky and privileged to live a free and wild life, different from what is defined as normal... but there are days when you see and feel emptiness around you.

So how do we get out of this vicious circle?

Try being 40, not having children, and having answered the question hundreds of times… do you have children? And seeing the embarrassed or compassionate faces when you answer negatively.

But why is it the first question to ask a woman? Why don’t people ask what goals you have achieved, do you feel fulfilled, have you travelled, are you happy? And yet always the same question...

And why is this question never asked to a man?

Why isn't a 40-year-old childless man considered an ousider of society?

So when you meet an adult woman, don't ask her if she has children, ask her if she is happy, what her dreams and desires are and don't judge her, don't make her feel more alone than she already feels.

Make her feel welcomed, safe but above all powerful.

Make her feel understood and accepted.

Try being 40 years old, free, independent and powerful.

#motherwood #divinefeminine #infertility #pcos #storytelling